


The day the sun went missing.

by k_o_m_o_d_o



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Darkfic, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Craig Tucker, Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mistery, Mute Tricia Tucker, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, Sad Craig Tucker, Suspense, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26053429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_o_m_o_d_o/pseuds/k_o_m_o_d_o
Summary: Kenny McCormick went missing sometime during New Year, Craig just couldn’t stop thinking about it.WARNING: contains scenes that might be troubling to some readers ; please do NOT read if you feel uncomfortable with this.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens, Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Minor Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. 1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not going to be updating this very often bc I am more concentrated on my other fic right now, I’m trying a new style so I want it to be as good as I can, also I want to make this one really interesting, with a lot of details and a really good plot, still I hope you enjoy this, bc I’m having a really good time writing it.

_“Craig! Craig! Take a picture!”_

_“Fuck off, dude. I’m fucked it’s not going to look good”_ _  
  
_

_“Doesn’t matter dude! Take it”_ _  
  
_

_“Come on Kenny, give me a rest”_ _  
  
_

_“Last one, I swear!”_

_“Fine, last one”_

  
  


( 5 days after Kenny's disapparition)

  
  


Picture a room, a teenager room, nothing weird about it, a normal room for a normal seventeen year old teenager. There were pictures in the walls, a mirror, a bed, a desk, and a boy who looked like shit. Five hours of sleep since yesterday, he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, he just couldn’t

“Honey” the voice is soft “try to sleep a little, we are gonna find him”

He pressed his eyes shut.

Why did he do it, why did he stop taking pictures? Why no one paid attention to him. 

“I can’t” he opened his eyes.

That fucking picture, he had been looking at it for hours. He looked so happy, so fucking happy, like he didn’t know, like he was going to be there next morning. 

He didn’t know, he didn’t fucking know.

It was four in the afternoon, they would go search for him in thirty minutes. 

“On the woods, lakes, in the trash, search everywhere you can” the police would say. “There is still hope”

Hope, there is still hope. Then why would they have to search for him in the trash? in a lake? it was winter, he would be already dead if he was in a lake.

The looks on everyone's faces, from Kyle and Stan that looked like shit, to Cartman that looked calm.

Karen hadn’t stopped crying, and his parents neither, they were probably going to get fucked if Kenny didn’t appear soon. Maybe it was better for him to not do it, at least not if he wasn’t breathing.

“Are you ok?” he touched his arm.

Was he ok? No, he wasn’t ok, he knew he didn’t look ok, he hadn’t showered, he hadn’t slept, he hadn’t eaten, he looked like shit. He felt like shit.

“Yeah” He said before holding his hand “I’m ok”.

Tweek smiled softly at him. 

He smiled back.

  
  


_‘What would you say if a tell you I can’t die’_

_‘I’d tell you, you’re an idiot’_

_‘I can’t die’_

_‘idiot’_

(280 days before Kenny's disappearance)

  
  


His mom bought it for his birthday, three days ago. He took it everywhere he went, with Tweek, with his friends, at school, everywhere.

A coffee mug, the sky, a lake, faces.

He had pictures of everything, he took pictures of everything.

“Stay still”

Click!

  
“Let me see”

Blonde hair, blue eyes, freckles and the stars. 

“Can I keep it?” 

“No”

Kenny stuck his tongue out at him. 

It was their thing, sneaking out at night and going nowhere, they weren’t friends, he didn’t think they were friends. 

They enjoyed each other's company, they walked around, and laughed. 

Yesterday, they egged Mr. Mackey house. Today they were at the park, Craig had his camera between his hands.

He smiled at him.

“You look dumb” he blew the smoke from his cigarrete to his face.

“You look cute,” Kenny said smiling.

He kissed him, it was just a peck. It was a secret, like many others. A secret that was told in the night, a secret no one knew about. 

He went home right after.

Kenny decided to smile and stay a little longer.

(5 days after Kenny’s disappearance) 

  
  


They looked everywhere, Kyle broke down in the middle. Stan had to take him home. 

He thought the worst sound ever was the sound of a baby crying. He realised then, that the worst sound ever, was the sound of a mother screaming for her son. 

“Please come home” Karen would whisper between tears. 

He held Tweeks hand tighter. 

If this was a nightmare he wanted to wake up, he wanted it to end.

There was nothing more upsetting than Cartman's face, he looked relaxed, like it didn’t worry him, like it was nothing. He looked at his nails, and rolled his eyes when Karen started crying again.

Craig saw red.

“Stop! Craig, stop!” 

Clyde and Kevin were holding him, Cartman’s nose was bleeding, his lip too. There was nothing more terrifying than blacking out and not knowing what he had done. 

Eric Catman was scared, confused, his face was a disaster, he was in the ground. 

“What the fuck?!” he heard him scream.

He stopped, everyone was looking at him, scared, terrified, he didn’t care. He wanted to kill Eric Cartman.

Twenty minutes later he was in his house again, Tweek and Clyde were with him.

“I wanted to kill him” it wasn’t a confession, it was a fact, it was a statement.

Tweek was looking at him, concerned with pity, he didn’t get it, he was always more chill than he was. 

“I really wanted to kill him”

A warm hand was on his shoulder, he looked at him. There was no pity in his eyes, he looked confident, he heard him, he didn’t judge him.

“I know,” Clyde said.

Craig spent the rest of the day sticking almost all the pictures from Kenny on his wall. 

Then a message came

**‘Meet us at Stan’s’**

It was 8 pm when he got there. It was weird, seeing how sad Kyle looked, how red his eyes were, how much his lips trembled. Every kid from their class was there. Bebe, Wendy, Butter, Tweek, Jimmy, everyone. Except for Cartman.

He thought it was stupid, he hated it, he hated looking at it, he wanted to burn them. 

“There are 30 for each one” Kyle said, his voice was sad “we need to cover the whole town with it”

It sucked ass, he hated it, he fucking hated it. 

‘MISSING PERSON’ it said in big red letters ‘NAME: KENNY MCCORMICK, AGE; 17 LAST SEEN. JANUARY FIRST, PLEASE CALL IF SEEN’ and there was what he supposed it must have been Kyles number. The picture was a good one, he was smirking and wearing a white shit. His hair looked soft. 

It looked like the sign someone would hang for a missing dog. He wanted to throw up.

They ended up at 12 am, there were signs everywhere. 

He went home feeling sick, the lights were off. His parents were asleep, so was Ruby he guessed. When he opened his door, he stayed still. All the pictures from Kenny were still hanged in there, he had forgotten about them. 

Craig ran to the bathroom and threw up.

  
  


_‘Take a picture’_

_‘Now?’_

_‘Yeah, why not?’_

_‘Fine’_

  
  


02:00 am, great. Almost two hours of sleep. He groaned, before getting from bed. He needed a cigarette.

The night was cold, it was empty of emotion, except for sorrow. He looked out his window while taking a drag. There lights were on, and right there, it was the paper, the sign. ‘MISSING PERSON’ it read. He felt like dying. 

Haunted, that was the word, he felt haunted by the ghost of him.

“Fuck” it was a whisper. “Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck”.

Helplessly, Craig drops on the floor, his whole body shaking and hugging his knees.

And he’s sobbing.

He wants to yell.

He wants to scream. 

Someone is hugging him, cold short arms. He wishes she could speak, he wishes she could tell him everything was going to be ok. But she can’t, Ruby can’t speak even if she wanted to. 

It was a light, a small light, that shined in the dark. He had it, it was hope.

“I’ll be back soon” 

Ruby nodded. She knew it was true,

He got on his coat, shoes and gloves. The park, he needed to go to the park.

The sound of night sounds more beautiful when you’re in love or sad. Now it was just annoying. 

He looked at the bench, he had sat there with him. More nights than he could count on, he had told Tweek he loved him there. It felt like cheating, he didn’t know who he was actually cheating on, he didn’t think about it,

It felt wrong to sit there during the night without Kenny, so he looked at it. The night was cold and dark, there was almost no light there, he couldn’t see very well. But he saw something.

And the light starts shining, a little brighter this time. 

Eyes widen.

Maybe it was horror, maybe happiness, but he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t make a sound, he just stayed there.

The light started shining even more, more brighter.

_‘Run, run, run, run, run’_

It wasn’t there. Where did he know those words from? He heard them somewhere before.

He swore he heard them, somewhere.

Oh, right.

  
  


(85 days before Kenny's disappearance)

“Didn’t know you could sing”

He smirked.

“There’re many things about me you don’t know Tucker”

He never believed in magic, it was dumb, he was a seventeen year old boy, he didn’t believed in magic. Not until today,

Click!

Kenny smiled, he was a sucker for attention, so he gave him that. 

It was nice, it was innocent for now, he felt like his carpet was soft as a cloud, and like that saturday afternoon was eternal, like they were immortals.

Kenny started playing a melody, his ukelele looked funny on him, he always made fun of it.

“What song is it?”  
  


He shook his head, it was a secret. 

“Don’t interrupt the show Tucker”

It made his heart beat faster, when Craig didn’t argue, and just decided to look at him, all his attention on him.

His heart ached, what would he give, to sing another song, not this one, to sing the song that haunted him. It wasn’t the moment, maybe there was never going to be a perfect moment.

Maybe he was wishing too much.

Maybe love was too much.

Maybe he should stop.

“So we’ll keep each other, as safe as we can, until we reach the border”

Yeah, maybe that one was not the one, but it felt least heartbreaking.

That was a lie.

_‘Hi, so um, my name is Kenny McCormick, fuck this is, like, so weird_

_(a second of silence)_

_I don’t know who is going to find this, but I want to show you something._

_(he takes the video camera, and put it between a few books)_

_Ok, so (sigh) this is what I can do._

_(Kenny takes a gun and point it to his head)_

_Fuck! Ok, here I go._

_(Kenny’s lifeless body falls in the ground)_

_Kenny? Kenny what was that? Ken are you ok there? Kenny, OH MY GOD_

_Mom? Mom what happened?_

_Call an ambulance! Kevin, a fucking ambulance right now!_

_My baby, no, please._

_(The camera keeps recording)_


	2. Heart Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make sure, don’t expect early updates on this one, still working on the other fic.

_Where is the love that you promised to give?_

_Is it under the blankets?_

_Is it between your lovers? Is it on the air? Can you touch it?_

_Pick it up, shove it against the wall._

_Can you hear?_

_It’s the sound of a heart break_

  
  
  


(6 days after Kenny’s disapparition)

  
  
  


He hadn’t been able to sleep since the accident in the park. He decided to just go home, and keep on looking at the pictures. He couldn’t look outside his window, he was going to throw up if he did.

The time passes, he realises it’s the morning when the sound of his mother walking down the hall to the bathroom starts ringing. It’s around 7 am, he guesses. Why was she up so early? Oh, right, first day of school from Christmas holidays. It was going to be awful.

“I think the aliens took him” Butters would say

“Probably a kidnapper from out of town” Wendy wondered.

“Maybe he left with a girl or something” Bebe would try.

It was like a nightmare, it had to be a nightmare, you see this kind of scenario on movies, on tv shows, and they are sad. But living it, it was worse.

His body was screaming when he heard people commenting on the possibilities of what could have happened to Kenny, stage 3 of anger.

Tweek grabbed him by the arm, looking worried, he wondered if it was because of Kenny, or because of how dead he looked, he was looking like a zombie, he wasn’t even aware of his boyfriend by his side. Until then.

His lungs felt like they were on fire, he wanted to throw up, he felt sick, he felt like drowning, it had to be a nightmare, a joke, a sick, twisted joke.

Flowers, photos, notes, all were sticked on his locker, on Kenny’s fucking locker. 

Anger, he felt anger, stage 5. Why were they sticking those kinds of things, like he was dead. Kenny wasn’t dead, he was missing, he was a fucking missing person, so why were they all acting like he was dead.

“Craig?” 

No response

“Craig”

He took a deep breath.

“Hey, honey” he was looking at him

Right, Tweek, Tweek was there, with him.

“Mmh?” 

“You’re bleeding”

He touched his bottom lip, he was beeding, he didn’t even notice.

Act cool, your boyfriend is looking, you are in school, there’s people around, keep it cool, keep it cool, is not like someone went missing, is not like you can’t stop thinking about it, is not like the person that went missing is Kenny-fucking-McCormick. 

“Come on, we should go to class” 

  
  


_‘You’re beautiful’_

_‘Don’t say shit like that, Tucker’_

_‘Why not?’_

_‘Cause’ you’re not going to say it when we are at school’_

_‘I may not say it, but I think about it’_

_‘And you say I’m a flirt’_

  
  
  


He tried hard to concentrate on what was going on in class, he tried to listen to what his friends were talking about, he tried to listen to Bebe gossiping about other people's problems, he even tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying. 

It was hunting him, he was really trying to not cry, be cool, act cool, everyone else is doing their best, even if Kyle’s eyes were still red and puffy, even if Butters was looking sad around the room, even if Cartman looked bored and annoyed about the ambience in the classroom. 

He couldn’t.

There was an empty seat.

And someone decided to put a fucking flowe on it.

Kenny McCormick was not dead.

It felt like hours he had been trying to ignore the thoughts that had been hunting him during the night, he felt haunted, he wanted to just go back, to do things differently, only… would he actually have done it differently? Would that help? Would he actually change anything if he could?

The door opens to reveal the principal. He tries to hear what he says. He doesn't, it's just too loud on his mind.

But suddenly everyone is standing up. 

Suddenly he is standing up too.

They are walking, he feels Tweek grabs his hand.

They are on the gim, the fucking gim. The whole school was there, he knew what was coming. This was going to fuck him up.

“-enneth McCormick was a good kid, loved by everyone” fucking bullshit 

“we are still searching for him, we all want him to come home” he felt like passing out, like throwing up, like fucking dying .

“so we want everyone to please help to search for him Kenneth dis-” 

Stage 8.

He ran, he couldn’t take it anymore. He fucking ran to the bathroom.

Bile, saliva, and something else. He hadn’t eaten anything, he couldn’t. He fucking couldn’t.

“Fuck!” he was already sobbing.

“FUCK, FUCKING FUCK!” tears were falling from his eyes.

“FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, STOP!”

They had been talking about him, like he was dead. This was not a funeral, there was no reason for this kind of bullshit.

Kenny was not dead. He was missing. He was a missing person, and until they don’t find the body, there’s still a possibility that he is still alive.

Then why was he crying so much?

Then why was he so fucking hurt?

The bathroom door opens up.

Steps coming closer to him.

  
  


_‘I can't, ok? I just can’t’_

_‘Why? Why suddenly you just can’t?_

_‘Because I love you, ok?’_

_‘So? I love you too’_

_‘But you won’t fucking leave him! You love me but you chose him over me!’_

  
  


( 1 hour before Kenny’s disappearance) 

  
  


Happy new years, yay! So fun, alcohol, his friends, and the perfect fucking couple. But which one? The one that was a secret? The one that was slowly dripping apart? Or the one where the guy he loved was in? Oh, where to choose, where to begin. 

Of course, you don’t say anything, because you love your friends.

Because it’s their secret. 

Because you know, many, many secrets.

And snitches get stitches. 

So you nod, smile, make a dick joke, roll your eyes, congratulate everyone, and hear your heart break one more time.

Kenny was not going to cry, not now, he promised him he was ok, he accepted the conditions, he accepted.

“Wow, look at these cuties over here!” 

Ah, Kenny’s favourite couple, Tweek and Craig, holding hands at the New Years party.

He wondered, were they going to do the countdown and then kiss? Were they going to have that perfect midnight kiss while the fireworks shot in the distance? Cause that was lovely and they should totally do that, at least they could.

“Hi Kenny” 

And you want to cry, because he is so innocent, he is so sweet. Pretty green eyes, with a perfect smile, and blonder hair than yours, he is so fucking cute. Kenny wants to tear his skin off, never show his face again.

He is looking at you, you feel it. In your skin. Kenny feels lighter, because he is smiling at him, and Kenny wants to kiss him so bad, he wants to kiss him in front of everyone, he wants to yell at him, to punch him in the face, to tell him to stop, because he hurts.

‘Oh, Craig, you hurt, you fucking hurt so fucking bad’

But he is so beautiful, so good to him, so perfect and he feels awesome, and makes him feel like he was the moon and the stars. But he hates him, cause he is so beautiful, so good to him, so perfect and he feels so bad, and makes him remind that the planets revolve around the sun, not around the stars.

“Hi, Tweek” Kenny smiles, and it looks natural, because he’s been doing it for a long time now, even when he was feeling miserable.

“Hi, McCormick” 

He doesn't wince, but it took every single cell on his body not to. Not to cry, not to break down right there.

McCormick, he wants to yell at him, so now he is McCormick? Now he is McCormick? Now he is not, honey? Now he is not, love? Not even Kenny?

But it is not his fault, it is yours, to want something that is not yours, to want something that makes you so bad, so sad, like a drug. It tastes good, but kills you.

Kenny keeps smiling, wishing he could leave quietly.

“Well, I was wondering when my personal photographer would come” you grin, because you remember, all those pictures, the ones that are hidden, the ones no one should find, the ones that would probably never see the light “Guess it’s finally here!”

Both of them laugh, because it’s innocent.

Tweek laughs because he remembers him bothering Craig almost all the time so he could take him a picture.

Craigs laughs, but he looks at you. With love, with hunger, with all those things that are shown in the darkness of the night or the room,

“Well, I’m finally here,” He says.

Craig takes the camera out.

Point at him.

His boyfriend smiles by his side, because it’s funny.

Kenny makes a funny pose, because he is not in love, because it’s new years party, and he is having a great time, he is not dying, he is not sad, or heartbroken. This was the best. 

  
  


Click!

  
  
  


(6 days after Kenny's disappearance)

  
  


“Hey!” he screams “Get off the floor, you asshole!”

He has a blue eye, a broken lip, and he looks pissed off. That fucking fat ugly face.

“What?” Craig asks, confused.

Well, he TRIES to ask, but he was busy feeling dizzy from throwing up, his head spinning like a record, so it actually came out like mumbled ‘wu?’.

He rolls his eyes, that fucking bitch has the balls to roll his eyes at him, even if he beaten him up yesterday,

“Get.Off.The.Fucking.Floor” Cartman said between teeth,

It took him a full five seconds, to realise what Cartman had just told him before actually starting to move from the floor, still next to the toilet. 

Craig stumbled a little while he did so, only making Cartman more pissed and to mumbled a ‘I can’t believe this guy is so fucking retarded’

He felt ashamed, fatass caught him crying while throwing up on a toilet, he wasn’t so proud of that, but he also felt kind of confused when he handed him a few paper towels, while looking away. Eric Cartman… was showing kindness? Was this a dream? He discovered recently that not getting much sleep did that, there were many times he felt like he was dreaming. It was that or all the fucking sadness.

“What do you want?” he asked, taking the paper towels he was handing him to clean his mouth.

Not really waiting for an answer he made his way towards the sinks to wash his face. He looked like shit.

“Believe me, I hate this much more than you do” 

Um, not sure about that, but ok. Craig had his reasons to hate on him, but maybe Cartman did too. But even if he did, what the fuck was he doing here then? Because if he hated him as much as he said, then there was no way he would be even NEAR him. Craig despised him, so what brings him here.

“I’m here to tell you to stop fucking crying and making a scene” Craig was about to turn around and punch him in the face “I don’t know where is Kenny, but he is not dead”

What? 

What the fuck was he talking about? 

It takes an instant, to snap back to reality, to understand, what Cartman was saying. He knew he was alive, he knew, he knew, he knew, he knew.

How did he know?

“Where is he?” it’s a whisper. Because he is too busy, trying to get things straight, to stop the panic rising inside him. He needed to know.

He was breathing hard.

“Where the fuck is he?”

It’s desperate, because he feels like it. Because it hunts him, the memories, the stories, the voice that’s singing songs softly, under the moon. The hands that strokes his hair, and tells him that he is lovely. Lovely, he was never lovely.

He’s staring at him, wide-eyed, like the answer is going to bring him back. 

“I don’t know where the fuck is he, you stupid cumslut” Eric tells him, venom in his words “but he is not fucking dead” Cartman takes a few steps closer to him, smug look on his face, a smile, like the sick psycho he is, like his best friend hadn’t gone missing just a few days ago. “The only reason I’m doing this, it’s because Kenny would want me to, but I wouldn’t hesitate on killing you Tucker” It’s not a threat, it’s a statemeant.

They are looking each other in the eye. 

He knows something. Cartman knows something.

The door opens.  
  


“Dude, Kyle is going insane and-” Stan notices. The way both Eric and Craig are looking at each other.

Eric is trying to destroy him, to make his demons snap and attack him, so he gets an excuse, an excuse for murder. Craig is trying to find, to see what he is hiding.

“Wow Craig, you look like shit” He knows that, he really do “Anyway, dude, we need your help, Butters can’t hold him any-” 

Eric interrupts him, without tearing his eyes off Craig. “This is why we-I told him to just take a fucking xanax” he turns around at that.

For the first time since Stan had entered the room, he looks at him. He really looks at him, he is scared. Scared, scared, scared. Oh well, weren’t they all?

You don’t look, you can’t hear.

Stage 9 comes quickly.

There is one thing, one thing only, never get to number ten.

Never.

Because number nine is already bad enough, he knows this. Because it’s like everything shuts down. He blinks, and everything feels heavy, everything feels so, so slow. But he can’t hear anything. Nothing. 

He blinks again.

He is shoving Cartman, against the mirror on the wall.

He blinks again.

Stan is pushing him away from Eric.

Again.

He is out of the bathroom.

Again.

His friends try to get to him, he pushes them away,

Again.

Butters is holding Kyle, he looks like he is trying to escape from his grip.

Again.

Kyle is looking at him, and there is something. Something he doesn’t know, fear? Panic?

No.

Horror.

Again.

Again.

Again.

He is in his house.

  
  
  


_‘So, this is second try now just-just in case’_

_(he looks shocked for a second)_

_‘Shit, it’s coming’_

_(he puts the camera behind some bushes)_

_‘Kenny! We found it, dude we finally-’_

_( Butters trips, making the knife fall straight on Kenny’s head)_

_´OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY’_

_‘YOU BASTARD!’_


	3. Pray (Part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of ‘Pray’ because It’s been a long time since I last updated and I didn’t want to leave you guys without anything. It was meant to be a longer chapter, that’s why it’s divided in two parts. Next one is coming soon!
> 
> (I hope so)

_Hey._

_Are you afraid of the dark?_

_Look up._

_Are you?_

_It’s there._

_Are you sure?_

  
  
  


_( 7 days after Kenny’s disappearance)_

  
  


It’s not cute. It’s not like the movies, when they show you a character that has problems sleeping, or eating, it’s almost romantic, they all look so beautiful. But it’s not like that, he looks like shit, literal shit, it’s not cute. It’s not attractive, it’s not healthy, it’s fucked. 

How chaped his lips were, how pale he was, how noticeable the bags under his eyes were.

His hair was greasy, his hands were sweaty, nails were badly bitten.

The noise, in his head, had been distorcioning, is it because of all the sadness? Is it because of how little he slept? Is it because he is going insane?

The door of his room opens. 

“Hi” he reconoices the voice,“So, I’m in charge of bringing you your homework”

He shifted under the blankets of his bed, he couldn’t get up, he didn’t want to. 

“So” Clyde decides to continue “We didn’t find anything yesterday” he didn’t know how that made him feel “Cartman got a few stitches on the back of his head” 

To be honest, he felt a little guilty about that, he didn't want to do that.

Oh well, at least Cartman had a good excuse to kill him now.

There is a second of silence.

Clyde sighed, he sat on the edge of his bed “Tweek uh, he is pretty mad at you dude” his voice was filled with concern “I know that this has been difficult for you, for everyone” he felt out of breath, that was a lie “But you can’t just go around making a scene dude” 

He takes the blankets out of his face. For the first time since his arrival, he looks at him.

Clyde is worried, it seems like no one in South Park is having a good night's sleep.

Good, they shouldn’t be.

You know this.

“I can't,” he stops.

The air is heavier in your room.

There is no sun outside, not since New Year.

The picture, his smile, his stupid goddamed smile. “I can’t get it out of my head”

“What?”

You can’t blame them, you can’t blame him for not understanding. Empathy at the end of the day is an illusion, you know this because no one could truly feel what the other person feels. Just like Clyde wouldn't truly understand how hollow you feel, just like you don’t understand how Cartman feels, just like you can’t feel what Kenny is feeling. 

Is that a good thing?

He tries not to, but his voice is trembling “I took the last damn picture of him, I could have seen something, if I wasn’t so drunk, if I just-”

Clyde puts a hand on his shoulder. It’s warn. It’s comforting.

“No, ok?” the change in his voice is barely noticeable. “Just no, you don’t know that, you don’t know what could have happened if you were there with him” 

He wishes he did. If the darkness had swallowed Kenny, he wanted to disappear too.

If he was taken, he wishes it could have been him.

If he was a murderer, he wishes it could have been him.

He tries not to cry, he can’t anyway. He just hugged the picture tighter to his chest.

  
  
  
  


_‘What?_

_What? Uh, no, nothing. I just-_

_You just?_

_I just thought I saw something._

_There is nothing there, come on._

  
  
  


(213 days before Kenny’s disappearance)

“Fuck” 

It’s a whisper, because it’s three in the morning, and there’s people sleeping. 

Craig pulls back, he stops himself from moaning, there are people sleeping, his mom, dad and sister more specifically.

He thrust back in, slow, so slow Kenny could cry.

Craig’s hands are on either side of Kenny's face, he looks so pretty like this, he can’t stop himself, so he kisses him.

They are kissing, slow, hard, it’s different. Craig fucks like he is in love, Kenny thinks, because he kisses him so passionate, he thinks he could die. He kisses so good, he makes him forget about everything around him.

Then Craig jerks his hips harder, it sends shivers on Kenny’s spine.

“God” Kenny gasps. Craig slams into him.

Again.

Again.

“Nngh”

They don’t know who is the one that makes those sounds, it’s everything so fuzzy, so distracting, so filled with soundless emotions, that every little thing around them disappears.

Craig fucks like he is in love, because he keeps touching everywhere, he keeps on kissing him, no matter what, he keeps on sliding in and out, over and over again, only making Kenny feel insane, because Craig was fucking him like he was in love.

“Come on” Kenny pleads “Come on”.

It’s a whisper, it’s a low whisper that sounds like a secret, directly in Craig’s ear. It makes him go faster, it makes him grip tighter. And Kenny feels himself shake a little by the pleasure Craig was making him feel.

Kenny fucks like it’s the only thing that matters, like a succubus would. It makes sense, because they say the devil is not an awful looking monster, it’s not a horrible being. They say the devil keeps the face of the angel he once was. The way Kenny fucks makes him want to drop on his knees and pray. 

Pray for him.

Pray for god.

Pray, and beg for this to be real.

And it was.

  
  


(8 days after Kenny’s disappearance)

It’s three in the morning.

It’s cold, he can feel his hair and clothes getting wet, it’s either the snow on his hair, or the sweat under all the layers of clothes he has. There hasn’t been this much snow since Winter of 2010, he remembered, they were kids, there was so much snow. They made a snowman. Kenny had added a carrot as his dick.

It’s dark, he thinks it’s about all the bullshit people say about the light of the moon. The moon can’t light for shit, it’s all dark out there.

The lantern of his phone is the only light, there are trees, snow. And then, 

Footsteps?

Two pairs. There are two people. He walks towards them.

The snow was getting inside his boots, his feets were going to get wet and cold soon, he didn’t care.

The lantern of his phone goes off and he stays still.

He turns his phone around, it’s not off, the battery did not die, then why did the light go off.

He starts tapping the ‘larten’ button, it’s not working “Come on” he whispers. 

The sound of footsteps is getting closer. He starts tapping harder.

“Come on, come on” the lantern is not working, it’s not working. The footsteps are getting closer.

Fear “Come on, come on” he has his gloves on, he takes them off, and starts tapping again. 

The footsteps are closer, closer.

Panic.

The light turns on.

Someone screamed.

“What the fuck?” 

He focuses on the two guys standing in front of him, each one of them holding their own lantern.

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing here?” Stan asks him.

What was he doing here? What was he doing here? What was he doing here? Searching. 

Craig frowned, he didn’t have to tell them anything “I could ask you the same thing”

Stan and Kyle look at each other. He takes a good look at Kyle, he looks worse than Stan, he thinks. He can see that the bags under his eyes are more noticeable than before, maybe not worse than his but they are big. His eyes are not red anymore.

They look at each other, Kyle looks confident, Stan looks scared. They are asking each other if they could trust him. Kyle turns to look at him.

“We think someone is hiding something,” he says, Stan nods by his side. “We are trying to look for clues”

For a second he doesn’t respond, there is just the sound of the night. The forest.

Hiding, someone is hiding something. Something about Kenny.

He took a deep breath, should he trust them? 

Well, it was just them, the moon, the trees, and the creatures of the night.

“Why would you think that?” he finally asked.

It is a treatment, a pact, made in silence. You trust us, I trust you.

“Because everyone in South Park hides something” Stan says before turning to look at Kyle, there is something, like they could read each other's mind “Always”

There is a sound from the bushes.

_Tap, tap, tap._

It’s closer.

  
  
  


_‘Kiss me?_

_Not now_

_When?_

_Later_

  
  


(204 days before Kenny’s disappearance)

  
  


It was sunday.

Everyone was there, it’s not exactly boring for you, not fun, but not boring. The psalms are not good, but at least some of them are good enough. A little boring when father Maxi keeps rambling about god, and Jesus, and how the Lord is everything, and blah, blah, blah.

After the first thirty minutes, you look behind you.

He looks back at you.

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul”.

Kenny makes a face, like he is falling asleep, that fucking asshole.

Craig tries not to laugh, his dad is right beside him, he would kick his ass if he noticed.

The old woman standing a few feets away from him it’s crying, it’s almost as funny as the faces McComirck keeps doing. 

He makes faces, before grinning silently, he does too. Then mouth a few words to him.

‘Wanna do something later?’

Craig nods, because he does, and today it’s sunday, so it’s supposed to be the most boring and lamest day of the week, he could use a bit of fun. 

Thomas slaps the back of his neck making him look back at where father Maxi is standing.

“Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell”.

He listens, but he can’t focus because McCormick looks good in a suit.

Father Maxi looks up the ceiling.

Breathing.

Breathing.

Breathing.

(8 days after Kenny’s disappearance)

  
  
  


They didn’t find anything. They stayed there until five in the morning, but there was nothing. Nothing at all, so that means that the night is terrible. Kyle and Stan leave for school, Craig is still suspended for another two days, good because he can’t face anyone right now. He doesn't sleep, he doesn’t eat, he just stares at the pictures, each one of them, turns to look out the window, the sign is still there. It moves because of the wind, and the sun is still covered by the clouds.

He thinks it’s ironic, how the sun won’t shine, how everything is so cold and dark outside.

Because it’s better that way. Think about how grey the sky is, how the sun doesn’t shine anymore, how everything looks so dark outside.

Because you can’t tolerate how dark it is inside.

He doesn’t know how long he has been standing there, walking around the room doing the same two things over and over again. Smoking cigarettes, his room a mess. 

Then he stops.

There is a picture. How could he have been so blind?

Why did he not see this? 

Kennny is smiling, he is in the school hallway. It looks pretty normal at first sight, but he notices, because of course he does.

Bebe is not that far behind him, she looks a little blurred by the focus of the camera. Bebe is glaring at Kenny, she is not just staring.

She is glaring.

He takes a step closer to the picture that’s hanging from his wall. Eyes narrowed, why was Bebe glaring at him?

Why does she look so pissed?

He is about to touch the picture. 

“Honey! Tweek’s at the door!” He hears his mom yell from downstairs.

That's all it takes for him to turn around, and forget about the picture. Shit, Tweek was there, he didn’t have to know about the pictures.

What if he thought he was crazy?

What if he told him to let it go?

You only let go of dead people. Kenny’s not dead.

Craig makes his way downstairs, to the door, he looks like shit and he knows it. Tweek is going to point it out, they were going to have a fight, he was going to get mad and he was going to leave. 

So not in the mood for that.

But that doesn’t happen.

“Hi” He says once you open the door to him, and he looks so cute, so beautiful, and that only makes it worse, because he doesn’t look mad at all. He looks worried, concerned, because you look like shit. 

“So, um”, Tweek looks down at his feets for a second, “I’m sorry about how I reacted the yesterday” he admists and it’s adorable the way he tries to hide behind his scarf, looking scared of what might be his reaction “But I thought I about stopping by and checking on you and-” He stops himself for a second “Just, I wanted to see if you were ok”.

He is mad.

Not at Tweek, his boyfriend was just doing a gentle gesture.

But it’s so fucking unfair, so fucking wrong.

Tweek was worried about him, when Kenny was the one that went missing.

Clyde, and Tweek checked up on him, when Kenny’s family was in pain.

Kenny was missing and everyone was being so selfish about it.

Oh, but are you different from them?

Yes, Craig might think for a second, just a second.

Because he wasn’t. This only happened because Kenny went missing.

Because if Kenny hadn’t gone missing, everything would have stayed pretty much the same, right? You would have kept on cheating to your boyfriend, you would have still been crashing Kenny’s heart. Everything would have pretty much stayed the same. 

You would have been the same asshole as you always were.

Tweek was about to leave.

Maybe he could change that, but not today. Maybe he could change that, but tomorrow.

He was going to be selfish one more day.

“Stay,” Craig said, grabbing his hand. It looks so unnatural to Tweek, because Craig's eyes are not just boring and plain looking anymore, they are filled with fear, with pain. “Please” he begs you.

And Tweek is weak for those sad eyes.

“Ok” it breaks his heart “Ok”

  
  
  
  
  


That night.

The devil takes off it’s clothes.

Abstract art on his body.

He walks into the shower.

Let the blood drip down and make it disappear.

  
  
  
  



	4. Pray (Part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! Please I need you to take this carefully, this is a darkfic, it’s going to have serious triggers warning, like in this chapter, mentions about abuse/rape, tihs is not happy fic by anymeans, the triggers warning would be marked, so you can skip them.

_ What are those sounds? _ _   
  
_

_ Don’t you hear them? _

_ They are up _

_ Up _

_ Up. _

_ There. _

  
  


Tweek stays, he does, because you ask him to, because the nights are slowly getting longer, because the sun doesn't shine anymore, because sleep deprivation is not an option, it’s just something that happens. And happens.

And it keeps happening.

“Craig?”

But not now.

Craig blinks before looking at his boyfriend. Right, he is in his house, he is in his house, Tweek made them coffee. He is safe, he is safe. But is he? What if he’s not? What if it’s not safe, what if it’s not right? What if Kenny’s dead? What if he never.

“Huh?” he needs to stop thinking.

Tweek’s smile is sad, but at least he tries to. You don’t.

“You were spacing out” he says before handing you a cup of coffee. He sits next to him, grabbing his hand, trying to keep him calm “Again”.

Problems begin when not even he is sure of what he is scared of, what is it? Then he remembers, he remembers something.

“I just…” he needs to rub his eyes, he is so, so tired “There is something” Craig says before staring at him.

Tweek takes a sip of his coffee, one brow raised, reflecting curiosity “What is it?” He asked.

He remembers, that time in the bathroom with Cartman, that conversation with Kyle and Stan, the photo, every goddamned photo. 

“Something is off” Craig says, he looks at the inside of his mug. It’s brown, a little bit of milk and one spoon of sugar, “Something it’s not right”. For some reason, the coffee mug seems infinite, the more he looks at it, the more it looks like the sea. It’s dark, and deep, so deep.

Something is moving in the water.

His eyes opened wide open. 

Something is moving inside his coffee, something is moving deep inside the water.

It’s black.

He keeps watching, not being able to tear his eyes away.

Something is moving, it’s crawling to the surface.

Crawling.

Crawling.

“I know” Tweeks voice makes him go back to reality. He is in his house, in his kitchen, drinking coffee with Tweek, his boyfriend “Can you believe no one saw anything? Were we all that drunk?” Something was moving in the coffee, he looked at it once again. “I mean, the police didn’t ask anyone questions either, what is wrong with it? Do you think they have something to do with Kenny?” There is nothing inside.

It’s just coffee.

He is in his house, in his kitchen, he is with Tweek talking about Kenny’s disappearance, and something was moving in his coffee. There is nothing.

He blinks before taking a sip. 

“No” You answer, Tweek pays attention “It’s something more, something else” but he is right, the police didn’t ask anyone, they never interrogated them, there are no possible criminals on the loose.

“Like aliens?” Tweek ask.

Back to reality.

You hate every second, every goddamn second.

Craig smiles softly at him.

  
  
  
  


(3 days before Kenny’s disappearance)

  
  


He knows, he knows every-fucking-thing, and it’s killing him.

Walking down the hallway, it feels like a dream, like slow motion. He wonders if someone else can see what he sees? Was he going insane? Was no one else seeing this?

There is too much, too much pain, too much confusion, too much responsibility, he can’t bear it. Bebe and Clyde’s galre, Kyle and Stan's death glare, Wendy’s frown, Red, Mr, Mackey, everyone, everyone.

Cartman is staring too, analyzing, you know you made a mistake yesterday, you know that you can’t mess with Eric, you know that you can’t mess with it. But you did, maybe later he would forgive him, maybe. But right now it doesn’t matter.

Because you know, you know everything, every dark secret and you know how it all connects with everything, in it’s own fucked up way, so you don’t feel. You don’t care, because Kenny feels his stomach drop, he knows too much, he knows too much, and it’s not right. 

Because Butters is not there. And you know every fucking thing. 

He walks, he keeps walking, he needs to keep walking. He feels hollow. 

Everyone’s eyes are on him. You feel the weight on their stares. Even the one in Token's face, they are all so full of hate. Because you know, and they know that you know. But do they know everything? No, they don’t.

The air is heavy, tense, everything feels so surreal, because they are watching.

They are all watching, they are watchin g, they a re watc h ing, the y a r e w a t c h i n g, t h e y a r e w a t c h i n g, w a t c h i n g, w a t c h i n g.

Down the hallway, there are all types of stares following him, so when he passes by that locker, that one locker he sees them, they are making out, and he feels his stomach drop, each step he takes, he keeps staring, he keeps staring even when Craig open his eyes, he swallows dry when he gives him a hungry look while making out with Tweek.

He knows Craig tightens his grip when their eyes connect.

He’s safe. Craig is safe and that’s the only thing that matters.

  
  


Kenny doesn’t know when he passes the front doors, he doesn’t remember walking out of school, he doesn’t remember walking, he doesn’t remember anything.

But there he is.

Standing, was he possessed?

Was he going to die?

He looks at the building in front of him.

He blinks.

Huh, for a second he thought that the cross was upside down.

Was his mind playing tricks on him?

Was he going insane?

I N S A N E 

It only takes a voice to realise that this is real.

This is happening.

“Hi, Kenny” he doesn’t need to turn around “We were wondering when you were going to show up”

Kenny is scared.

No.

He’s terrified.

  
  


(8 days after Kenny’s disappearance)

  
  


Tweek stayed for two hours, before he got a call from his parents telling him he needed to head home. He did, and left Craig alone in his house.

It wasn’t that late when Tweek left, Craig made sure that he didn’t go to his room, he didn’t need to see all the pictures of Kenny on his wall. He didn’t need Tweek to think he was going to get involved, he didn’t need him mad again.

But he was going to get involved.

Once Tweek left, he never felt more relaxed yet tense in his life, he knew that he had just drank some coffee but he felt tired, so very tired. 

He remembers almost falling asleep on his way upstairs, he remembers lying in bed, clothes on and everything, he remembers watching Stripe in his cage. At some point during that moment. He falls asleep.

It happens during sometime in the night. He fell asleep at five in the afternoon, so it means that when he opens his eyes again it’s late at night, because everything is dark, pitch black. 

A sound wakes him up. 

Kind of, because he doesn’t know if he’s awake or asleep when it happens, it could have been a dream. 

He blames his sleep deprivation for it.

“Shhh” some hushes him, they know he is awake.

Someone is in his room, someone is inside his room, but he is too tired to care.

“Mmmh” Craig murmures, he tries to open his eyes, because there is someone in his room.

“Sleep, Tucker” Someone says, it’s a male voice, a voice he knows too well, so well he could cry.

Not really conscious, Craig asks “Kenny?” was this real, was this a dream?

  
  


“Shh” he knows he is smiling, he doesn’t need to look at him to know this. “Go back to sleep”.

And maybe it’s because he's so tired, maybe it’s because his voice it’s the most beautiful and soft sound on earth, maybe it’s because he can’t really face reality.

But he does.

He goes back to sleep.

  
  


Kenny just smiles at him.

  
  


**TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!**

  
  


(36 days before Kenny’s disappearance)

  
  


The air is heavy, it’s dry.

In another situation, he would have thought it was a stupid way to describe it, but this time, there is no better way to put it into words.

It feels like he is trapped. 

In some way he is, he is trapped.

“So” he begins, and he knows. He knows and Kenny wasn’t supposed to know, because people go to jail for this. People get murder for this. But Kenny knew, and there is no way to unknow it.

The only sound that exists in that room is the clock, ticking every minute. Every second.

Kenny knows and he wasn’t supposed to know.

The person on the other side of the desk clears his throat, “You know why are you here, okay?” he asks, but it’s not a real question, Kenny is not an idiot. “You know this is a serious subject, Kenny, okay?”

Never in his life Kenny would have though South Park could be as dark as it already was. But in that room, Kenny knew, he knew South Park was the darkest place on earth.

He thinks South Park is worse than hell.

The person on the other side of the desk, stands up. “I know it’s bad, okay?” Kenny looks straight forwards, he doesn’t need to know what he is trying to do “But let’s be honest here, Kenny '' The man keeps walking around the room, Kenny knows he is in the mouth of the wolf, he knows he is trapped. “People know me, okay?” he is right behind him, Kenny doesn’t tear his eyes away from the window, everyone is outside. None pays attention.

“I’ve got a reputation, and I know people, okay?” It’s a threat, the man stops right behind him, Kenny doesn’t move, he feels sick when the man laughs a little “This reminds me of that time with Red” he says, Kenny wants to throw up, he wants to go home, because now the man has his hands on his shoulders “Sweet girl you know, really sweet”.

It’s disgusting, it’s sick and twisted and fucking horrible.

“I know you would agree with me” he starts to move his hands, rubbing his shoulders, Kenny wants to scream “Kind of moody, and a little bit aggressive” He moves his hands a little more down towards his neck, Kenny knows and he wasn’t supposed to know. “Impossible to ignore that girl” he continues, Kenny tenses, but doesn’t move, he doesn’t scream, he just looks outside the window. “Mostly because she is loud” His hands move, grabbing him by the neck, there is no pressure “Really loud”.

He doesn’t know when it started, but he is crying, he wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t because he can feel the salty taste of his own tears a few seconds later.

Then, his hands apply a little bit of pressure. It’s just a little.

But Kenny noticed.

He breaths.

Breaths.

Kenny prays for this to stop.

Kenny knows, and he wasn’t supposed to know.

He let’s go a second after.

“Well, that was a lovely talk, Kenny” He moves around the room, and sits back on the chair on the other side of the desk, Kenny hates it when he say his name “I wish we could have more of these another time” He doesn’t need to listen to him anymore, he just wants to leave. “But I’ll let you go, just don’t get into more trouble” Kenny stands up, and turns around, he is about to open the door, he needs out of that room, he needs to leave. 

“Oh, and Kenny?” 

Kenny stops.

“Snitches get stitches, kay?”

Mr. Mackey watches with a smile as Kenny slams the door behind him.

  
  
  
  
  


(9 Days after Kenny’s disappearance)

  
  


**END OF TRIGGER WARNING!!!!**

  
  


“-not going to do it myself”

Sometimes Craig wonders if things could get any worse, he finds out that they do.

Craig finally got himself some sleep, with some sleep I mean about fourteen full hours. He knew he had dreamed of something important, he didn’t know what, if it was really that important then maybe he would be able to remember. He didn’t really pay much attention to it, there were more important things to worry about.

“-one has to do it” he hears his father say.

He had just come out the shower, a towel around his waist when he found her. 

Everything in his room is the same. Except that Ruby is there.

There is something wrong with Ruby.

“What is it?” you ask, because you don’t know. And you may never know.

She does not turn around.

She doesn’t look at you.

Ruby stares. Stares and stares.

Craig makes his way next to her.

“Ruby?” 

She doesn’t turn.

She is looking, because she sees something.

Craig followed her gaze, she was staring at the pictures. And there something he doesn’t know is what is it. But he is suddenly scared.

Because Ruby is not just staring. She looks hypnotized, and she can’t take her eyes away.

But panic starts to rise.

“Ruby?” Craig has to put a hand on her shoulder.

Because now she is breathing, faster and faster and faster.

She is staring.

She knows.

She knows and she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Ruby?” You get scared, because she is your sister, so you care.

And she looks petrified. 

She knows.

And soon.

You’ll know too

A phone is ringing. That sound it’s all it takes for Ruby to run away from his room. For a few seconds, he just stands there, what was all of that about? 

If Craig thought that was weird, what he heard when he answered his phone just made him more confused.

“Dude” Clyde says “The police said they found a suspect”.

  
  



End file.
